Calamity Cake

From “Random Inspired Essays”


Language warning: I generally don’t swear (loudly) or resort to profane or vulgar language, but recent events have pushed me to the limit. This blog post will contain free flowing useage of the word “suck.” Bland, perhaps, but maybe not the most Christian example. I’m a work in progress.


My October pretty much sucked.

Which is a shame! I love October! The summer is officially over, holidays are on the horizon, the heavy heat abates and fall flirts with us in the mornings… (This is Florida, we only get to flirt with fall.) But then October 2018 says:

“Hold my beer.”

Before I get to the suck, though, there were four bright spots I’ll share with you:

  • The first was my 10 year wedding anniversary. The hubbins and I managed to run away for a night to commemorate the milestone with a night of TV on a different couch, complete with takeout food and strong drinks in small plastic cups. It was simple, but wonderful. (Happy anniversary, darling!)
  • The second was my new haircut. Now, I’m not talking an ordinary trim…I lopped off a FOOT of red curls to make my second donation to Children With Hair Loss. (Fantastic organization btw, Okay, so it was dramatic and my daughter and I both sobbed for a day, BUT we came around. Sporting a curly pixie cut now!
  • The third was that my daughter and my husband got baptized together! So awesome, you two!!! I’m so happy for you!

To describe the fourth, however, I will need to explain the suck.


So a flood in the bathroom sucks.

Especially when it translates to an estimated sixty (60!) gallons of water being drained from the ceiling below. And did I mention this is in a brand new house? Yah. See, over the course of our first year here, we’ve needed three separate repairs to our master bathroom shower…one of which apparently caused a significant leak. Our entire shower had to be ripped out — we can SEE the porch through the shower floor — along with the adjacent bedroom closet. We spent weeks with two Star Wars droids passing off as dehumidifiers droning noisily in our sleeping quarters.

This whole debacle in and of itself would drive me nuts. With our entire bathroom emptied and displaced, and an entire wardrobe relocated to, er, everywhere, my OCD is screaming.


But that hasn’t been all. That was only part of the suck. You know what else sucks?


Surgery sucks. (Duh.) But now that I’ve gone through a few, I can at least confirm that for you.

  1. In 2011, I had a C-section. (But hey, I got a baby out of that one!)
  2. In 2014, I had my gallbladder removed. (Unfortunately, I didn’t make it into the “back to normal” club and have to mind my diet.)
  3. And now, in 2018, I’ve had a hysterectomy.

Omg Anesthesia is NOT my friend. I’m pretty sure this last one has been the worst of the three…recovery has been pretty painful. Ten days out and I’m still laid up.


You know what else sucks? The handful of other lesser aggravations that arise. You know what I’m talking about…those minor emergencies and random irritants that would be the big drama in an average week: unexpected expenses, somebody threw up, something broke, friend being weird, bad news from the realtor, kiddo stepped on your fresh pedi, and so on. We haven’t been spared that nonsense, either…if anything, it’s been hitting us at a higher-than-normal rate. It’s the icing on the giant calamity cake we called October.

(Calamity cake…haha! Made myself laugh. Ow.)

I ended October with a chuckle, though. Now that you’ve heard all the suck, you can better appreciate the fourth bright spot, a little silver lining in our stormy sky. Remember how I said that anesthesia is not my friend? Well, at the very least, NOBODY TOOK AWAY MY CELL PHONE. (In fact, my hubbins just informed me that he gave it to me. On purpose.)

And apparently, I still had things to do. The following all came as fun little surprises after-the-fact.

Surprise #1

My surgery was on Thursday the 25th. Thursday is hazy. But come Friday, my anesthetic-soaked brain decided it was time to check up on some things.

Friday night, I needed to check in back home. Needed to! I knew the kiddo had had a school event and I think I had wanted to see how it went. I think. It’s hard to say.


“Hoe xil was a lot of century hat m? Ruby th hug tbd .”

Hubbins took it in stride. My mom, however, laughed herself to tears.


Surprise #2

The next day (still in the hospital), it appears that I decided I was well enough to see what I’d been missing on Twitter. I do not remember this. I also don’t remember this:


“Tee #WorldSeries”

Wha-? I am not what you would call a sports fan, soooo wth is that? I’m at a loss. One kind person liked it, though. Er, go sports? I guess?


Surprise #3

Once home and settled, I wanted to check out the reminders on my phone to see what was coming up on my to-do list. It would seem I had this same thought in the hospital, too, but decided there was something I absolutely needed to add to the list:


Th yr user huff kHz ļłmmmmmmmm

Not only are some of those not even words, some of those aren’t even letters, guys. I somehow moved beyond the alphanumeric.


So! Sucktober is finally over. BUT…there were some little shining moments, and we came out of it with a chuckle. Shaking our heads! And *sigh* quite frankly, reeling. But with a smile on our lips, at least.

And we’ve got each other.


Thanks for reading.

Deidre sig, transp bg

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