It’s tense out there. Are you ready for the onslaught? They say laughter is the best medicine…

---

Never had he seen such an exquisite arrangement, the last four boxes of tissues sliding into the gap on the shelf like a completed jigsaw puzzle.

“Oh-ho-ho, that’s so satisfying,” Lee whispered to himself, resisting the urge to caress his growing stockpile. He had been concerned that this new round of supplies wasn’t going to fit into the already-bursting linen closet, but some careful reorganization had allowed for the integration of the day’s haul. His years playing Tetris as a kid were paying off, the sight of it all practically sublime.

“Hey, Mel, come look at the closet,” he hollered over his shoulder without taking his eyes off his work.

“Did you actually get it all to fit in there?” Her voice wavered with each step as she came trotting up the stairs. Melissa found her husband standing in the well-lit hallway with his hands propped on his hips like an ageing Disney character in skinny jeans. She examined closet, starting at the floor and working her way to the top shelf where she cast her eyes upward into the darkened recess above.

“Nicely done, babe. Cheez, have we finally hit the ceiling?” She popped up onto her tiptoes and gawped, mouth open, at the tightly packed array of boxes overhead.

“Not quite. We’ve probably got enough space for another whole row of supplies up there. Plus, look at this.” He squatted down and withdrew a 24-pack of toilet paper positioned near his feet to reveal an empty milk crate tucked into the back corner. “I made more room on the floor. I mean, we could just grab another pack of toilet paper if you want, that would fit, but I figured we might get more use out of this.”

“Oh, that’s perfect,” said Melissa, “because I have three bags full of stuff in the trunk of my car.”

Lee rose back to his feet. “You made it to the drug store?”

“I did! Yes. And I was able to—”

“Did you get everything on the list?”

“Yes, everything on the list,” she said reassuringly. “Well, almost everything. Face masks were back in stock, so I was able to grab a few more boxes. I didn’t buy them out, though. Others are going to need masks. And technically I did find all the meds on the list, but some of the name brand stuff was still out of stock. I had to go generic.”

“Did they at least have the—”

“They had the cherry, yes.”

Lee smiled. “You’re the best. Oh, but you don’t like the cherry.”

“Like they say, any port in a storm,” Melissa said with a shrug. “If I end up needing to take it, I’ll have bigger things to worry about than the taste of medicine.”

“Was the pharmacy itself still open?” he asked. “I know they’ve been keeping later hours.”

“It was, yes, but unfortunately your prescriptions weren’t ready yet.”

“Damn,” said Lee, cringing lightly. “Still?”

“They said demand has been really high, which is understandable. We can call and check on Thursday. Anyway, let me go grab all that stuff from my car and see if it’ll fit in the crate.”

While Melissa was off retrieving the fresh supplies from her trunk, Lee went into the hall bathroom and opened the cabinets under the sink. Muttering to himself, he quickly rearranged the collection of bathroom cleaners and disinfecting sprays creating more workable space. By the time she came puffing back up with her parcels, he had emptied the 24-pack of toilet paper into tidy stacks under the sink.

“Look.” He waved her over and pointed into the small bathroom cabinet. “Ta-da!”

“Oh, nice. That works out, because I forgot I had more toilet paper in the car,” she said with a giggle, nodding toward the new package sitting at the top of the stairs. She handed off one of her bags from the drug store, looking her husband up and down as she did. “So, we’ve got dinner with Mo and Julia in two hours. Are you going to—”

“Yes, I’m going to change my shirt.”

“Because that green shirt makes you look—”

“I look like Peter Pan, I know.”

“Thank you, baby” she sang, grinning broadly.

“I mean, you could change and be my Tinkerbell?” he suggested. “Just sayin’.”

“Is that a short joke?”

“No-o-o-o, no!…yes. Yes it was.”

“Whatever, bean pole. Come here.” Melissa grabbed the front of his kelly green polo and pulled him down for a quick kiss before the two returned to organizing their hoard.

*

With their bellies full of vegetable lasagna and a mildly disappointing vegan cheesecake, the foursome relaxed into their chairs, taking turns swirling their wine glasses and making idle post-meal chit-chat.

“What are the kids up to tonight?” asked Lee, resisting the urge to unbutton his jeans and release the pressure on his middle-age spread.

“Well, Ella’s spending the night at a friend’s house, and Ash is at the movies with the new boyfriend,” replied Julia.

“Boyfriend?” Melissa set down her wine glass. “You mean…?” She left the question hanging.

“That’s right,” said Mo. “Ash finally plucked up the courage to ask Jake out.”

“Jake from chorus, Jake?” Melissa looked to Julia for confirmation, who nodded in response. “Well, good for them.”

“Although,” Mo added, “Ash did get a bit defensive when we used the ‘b’ word. ‘We’ve only been on a few dates, Dad, nothing’s official.'” The two couples chuckled at Mo’s crackling falsetto, an uncanny likeness to the absent party.

They all fell into a comfortable silence for several moments until Mo took some initiative by rising from his seat and grabbing a couple of plates to return to the kitchen. He waved off assistance from their guests by offering them more wine. As Julia refilled everyone’s glasses, Lee propped an elbow on the table and leaned in.

“So,” he began. “You guys ready for the onslaught?”

“Onslaught? What onslaught?” asked Julia, suddenly alarmed.

“Surely, you’ve heard the reports. I mean, it’s all the local news can talk about right now. They’re saying it’s going to hit our area any time, and hit it hard.”

“Oh,” Julia scoffed lightly, passing another dish to Mo. “I don’t think it’s going to be that bad, you guys.”

“No, but it is,” said Melissa, backing up her husband. “And with the unseasonable shift in the weather, it’s going to hit us earlier than they thought it would. Like, we’ve been prepping for weeks. We’re totally stocked and ready. But if you need stuff, you should get it soon. The stores are starting to run out of things fast.”

“Oh, man, really?” Mo returned to his seat at the table and reached for his wine. Lee and Melissa both nodded solemnly. Mo mulled this over for a moment, watching the legs of his wine stretch down into the burgundy depths of his glass. “I mean, I guess it couldn’t hurt to grab a box of masks, eh, Jules? Maybe make sure we’ve got decongestant? I mean, with Ella’s asthma…”

Julia’s reluctant demeanor shifted to concerned. “Oh, gosh, you’re right. I didn’t think about her asthma. We should probably check her inhalers and maybe put in a refill for an extra one.”

“Absolutely, you should!” cried Lee, a bit taken aback that the parents of a child with asthma wouldn’t be taking things more seriously. Melissa patted his knee under the table, a light cue to take it down a notch. Lee cleared his throat. “I mean, maybe some people aren’t bothered by it. But me and Mel aren’t taking any chances. Especially after seeing the reports coming in from upstate.”

Julia squirmed in her seat. “You mean…?”

Lee nodded. “Mm-hm. Just a few hours north of us. It’s taking people down left and right.”

“And doctor’s offices are being overrun with people with breathing problems,” added Melissa. She abruptly sat up in her chair, turned around, and began rummaging through the purse hanging off the back of her chair. Having located her smartphone, she set it down on the table and began tapping and swiping at the screen. “Here. Look at this graphic I saw the other day on social media. I follow one of the local news stations, and they posted this map of the worst hit areas with projections for the next couple of weeks.” She spun her phone around; Mo and Julia leaned in to examine it.

“Oh, gosh, that does look bad,” Julia muttered.

Mo pointed at the small screen with his pinky finger. “Cheez, look at Virginia and North Carolina.”

Melissa pressed her lips together and nodded. “It’s time to stock up, you guys. Be safe, and be prepared. Because when this hits our area and everyone’s looking for masks and tissues? Sorry, but we ain’t sharin’!” She laughed humorlessly.

“We’ve even got a guy coming to the house on Thursday to check the seals on our windows and doors.” Lee dug a business card out of his wallet and handed it to their friends. “Might be worth looking into.”

“That seems a bit extreme, doesn’t it?” said Mo, still not quite sold on the severity of the reports.

Lee sighed. “I don’t know, man. Call us paranoid if you want. We call it prepared. Oh, Mel, that reminds me. I picked up a HEPA filter the other day. I can swap it out when we get home.”

After several more minutes exchanging statistics and concerns, the topics of conversation shifted to happier things and Lee and Melissa later left feeling confident they had done their due diligence in helping prepare their friends for the challenges of the days ahead.

*

Eleven days later

Melissa shuffled into the kitchen, dressed for the day but looking rather unprepared for it. She filled a large mug from the pot of steaming black nectar which stood at the ready, whispering to her with promises of energy and hope. 

“Thank you for making coffee,” she mumbled as Lee joined her. “Strong, strong coffee.”

He grunted. “Needed to be.”

“You alright?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Meh. I don’t know. I didn’t sleep very well.”

“Yeah, me either. Woke up with a headache. I just figured it might be my period coming, but…”

They exchanged a worried glance, the unspoken concern etched on both their faces. Lee drew her into his arms. 

“Well, come what may, we’ve got each other.” He kissed her on the top of her head. “You ready to go? I can drive you up to the office today, if you like.”

Appreciating the offer, she gathered up her belongings. While Lee transferred her coffee to a travel mug, Melissa popped a decongestant, took a sniff of her nasal spray, and stuffed an inhaler into her work bag. With that, the two of them headed out the door. 

Lee turned over the engine. Melissa buckled in. And then, in synchrony, they both sneezed.

“Oh, no,” whispered Melissa. Her watering eyes were now fixed straight ahead through the windshield. “Lee. Look.”

He followed her gaze, turning his head slowly to the front. It only took a moment, however, for him to realize she wasn’t looking through the windshield, but rather at it. Or, more specifically, at the fine, pale green powder clinging to the glass.

“Oh, God, it’s happening. It’s here: The Pollening.”

---

Thanks for reading. Be well.

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