From Random Inspired Essays
One morning not too long ago, I was lying in bed daydreaming (like I do), and my meandering thoughts brought me to the contrabass clarinet. See, I had been reflecting on my history as a musician and asked myself whether I had a favorite instrument. I had played several, after all. My three primary instruments were the clarinet, my serious instrument; the piano, my emotional release; and the trombone, my toy. (I played others as well, but only as experiments or passing fancies). I called the trombone my toy because my musical pursuits with it were playful, primarily jazz and ska. It was fun. So, my favorite instrument to play would probably have to be the trombone.
But what about overall? I have a deep appreciation for musical instruments and there are certainly others I enjoy deeply. I admitted to myself that I would be hard pressed to pin down a favorite, per se, but there was one particular instrument that jumped out as a fascination: the contrabass clarinet. But why? What is it about this uncommon instrument that intrigues me so? There’s a feeling, almost tangible, a perfect word to describe it. I began poking around my brain searching for that perfect word and, after several quiet moments of deep introspection, I finally pinned it down:
Lurking.
The contrabass clarinet lurks.
I delighted in finding this perfect word, satisfying my personal exploration. Only, then I found myself staring down into an entirely new rabbit hole. What did my brain just do to find this word? I enjoy words and often find myself retreating inwardly to search for one. So, what exactly happens in my mind’s eye when I’m searching for a word? What is my process?
I want to say it’s as simple as flipping through a catalogue or shuffling papers. But no! Not this colorful imagination! I took a journey.
To find this particular word, I began by focusing on the sound of the contrabass clarinet itself. The feelings it evokes. The imagery. That rattle…
Words
materialize before me
emerging from the haze…
creepy
creeping
stalking
creature
It’s a monster movie. I am in a swamp. I have latched onto the word creature, a creature in the swamp, Creature Feature, the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
lagoon
Yes! A black lagoon…
Abruptly, the word rangoon comes flying in from the side, mowing down the undergrowth. Crab Rangoon, I can taste it, feel it in my mouth, hot cream cheese laced with crab tucked inside a fried dumpling. Mmmmm! Oh, how I miss being able to each such foods! Stupid sensitive stomach…
Not now, Crab Rangoon!
I shove it away with annoyance, banishing it back into the murk.
The murk. A murky lagoon. The contrabass clarinet is stalking the murky lagoon, but there’s a better word still. It’s right there, I can taste it more vibrantly than I had the rangoon. (Not now, rangoon!) I cradle murky lagoon in my arms and grip the L with one hand, focusing on the sound of the instrument as I trace the shape of the letter. It’s the L. The word I seek is beginning to materialize before me. I tug on murky lagoon to pull the elusive quarry forth from the swampy gloom, and like a fisher of words I reel it in. Once the word is finally within reach, I toss my lure to the side.
Now, I cradle the word itself in my hands—L, the L is so clear, but I still can’t read it. It’s all tangled up in timbre and tone. My eyes widen and my breath quickens as I carefully unwind the feelings and the colors, smoothing out the twisted word until it lay bare and pristine before me:
LURKING
My eyes are alight with triumph and I grin broadly as I finally present this perfectly assigned word! The contrabass clarinet lurks. Like a shadowy creature stalking through a black swamp, crouched low behind the trees and creeping through the fog and dripping undergrowth, the rattle of the contrabass clarinet stalks the music from the eerie depths of sound and time. And as I hold this most perfect word aloft, my linguistic trophy wrapped in marvelous metaphor, I hope, perhaps, that it might bring even a fraction of satisfaction to another as the fulfillment and joy I experienced on my journey to its discovery.
Thanks for reading.

You’re curious about the contrabass clarinet now, aren’t you? Yeah, you are. Here are a couple of samples I found. The first portion of the first clip definitely gives “creature.”


cute story Deidre! Finding the right word, or a good/best word for a particular sentence or paragraph is among my favorite writerly pursuits.
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I also loved playing the deepest sounding instrument in the jazz band: the baritone sax. I would even haul that heavy thing home to practice, if I couldn’t get a ride with someone. It was also a lurking sound. I understand your quest for the perfect word. This must be common to people who have “writer’s brain”. We derive great joy from the feel of the perfect word.
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I loved the bari sax, too!
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I love this. As someone who is a deep and compulsive OVERTHINKER I totally relate to your thought process. Thanks for sharing.
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